tempus fugit

My father is getting married next weekend!

Finals are right around the corner, too! And oh boy do I have a lot of final projects and papers to contend with!

And I'm helping my friends out with our newest machinima* project!
Machinima: Think Red vs. Blue. But we're using Fallout 3 because Microsoft dicked us over so badly with our last venture.

I am not going to have a life anymore! Not that I really have one now!

ahahaha. Ahaha. Aha. Ha. ohgodwhyyyy.

(Also, it would be now when I finally feel like writing again. Which makes a certain amount of sense, come to think of it. I find I generally end up writing more, and being more productive, when I'm juggling lots of things at once, because I have to manage my time well.)

Meme, from a_white_rain --
Comment, and I'll:
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ. -- only if you want to.

So it is not tomorrow, and there is not inauguration post.

Ehe. Sorry. Am still waiting for the pictures to be developed, but the main points:
a) It was cold.
b) It was awesome.

Am moving back to apartment tomorrow. For a variety of reasons, I really don't feel ready for this semester at all -- the Financial Aid screwup last semester threw me off-track, and apparently I'm registered as a part-time student now, which I've since corrected but I need to fill out more paperwork and I'm not sure if I'm going to bother to sign up for a meal plan this semester, even. Also still don't know what I'm doing about certain classes; I really want to go for the Anthropology minor and I think I need to take Methods of Anthropological Research for that, but I'd be course overloading during a semester where I'm a) cast and b) looking for a job.

And I need that job. If I don't get a job this semester, I can't go to ACen. My refund check's coming back late as it is, so Katsucon's going to get interesting. I might have to dip into my savings, though I hope that doesn't become the case. Also I've barely glanced at my Latin this semester, and Hetalia and tournament hijacked me away from working on Ardent so I need to resume that again posthaste, and I'm trailing so far behind on obligations that it isn't even funny.

(I think I'm taking a break from request-based fic and ficlets, though. I just don't write well to people's specifications anymore, and I get unreasonably upset and stressed and unhappy when I try to. Need to stop treating fandom like a job, really, because it isn't, and scheduling myself to do things doesn't work and makes me feel terrible when I can't reach the goals I set for myself.)

I'm hoping to have fic up by tonight or tomorrow, though, and I think that will improve my mood a lot. Ultimately, so will being back in school, because I do very poorly with unstructured free time. I work best and get the most done when I'm doing too much at once. It may not be the most healthy way to go about things, but I'm used to it by now. (I might try to do that 15 pairings meme floating around, if I can think of fifteen pairings. I fail so hard at forming OTPs, seriously.)

In less whingy news, Suzaku is never allowed to drink Stargaritas again. Long story.

Also in less whingy news:

all_he_ever

A joint project between Linden, Mith, and myself. (pinstripesuit is our Minister of Propaganda.) In 1923, the Anglo-Japanese alliance was not dissolved. In 1956, a member of the Communist-Progressive Party won the American Presidential Election. These are the stories and artistic developments that created such a world.

...so how have you all been? Is our new President completely awesome or what?

So I am in my mother's journalist friend's apartment in Bethesda with a whole bunch of lovely Obamaladies, sleeping on his floor and stealing his wireless.

I wake up at four tomorrow to train down to DC and watch our forty-fourth president take his oath of office. I have a silver ticket, too, which is awesome. (Mother managed to get a purple, the lucky.)

There will be full post about inauguration tomorrow, but for right now let me just say this:

eeeeeeeeee

So I got a 4.0 for fall semester. *grins* Am gratified. Was a little bit worried about my Playwriting grade, as I was not always extraordinarily punctual with everything, but it worked out, so yay.

Weekend was absolutely goddamn wonderful -- Mith was in the area visiting acielskadi and her boyfriend, both of whom are absolutely wonderful, so I got together with them on Saturday night. I have bruises. They are happy bruises.

In writing news:
a) So the finish-memento mori-by-the-end-of-January may or may not be feasible. *sigh* Several factors, really -- I want to prove to myself that yes, I can write something novella-length, but for reasons that I don't really want to get into in a public entry, writing Subaruzukamori hits home in ways I never expected it would. It's incredibly personal, incredibly vulnerable in a lot of ways, and getting into his headspace is almost a paralyzing experience. Hisoka's better because he at least gets angry, but it's still, well, kind of grueling. And I'm getting close to the point where I introduce the character responsible for all the unpleasantness, a character who I had to stop writing for a long time because of overidentification issues and other rather unhealthy behaviors associated therein.
I like the story. I'm still proud of the story. It's just brutal to write on a level that even the Hetalia stuff hasn't been.
Of course, now that I have posted this, watch me crank out the next chapter in a few days or something. Because my writerbrain, it is a contrary little thing.

b) Eternity: Written in the Stars. Guess who's going to be writing Suzaku Kururugi for about ten days straight?
I'm looking forward to it. Haven't written nearly enough of him, and I know that participating in Eternity will mean that I'm going to hit my goal of 1000 words a day and probably surpass it, given that I wrote 22000 words or so last time, and I was just learning the tournament ropes. I'm excited for this one, and I might even get some fun Geass ficlike things out of it. The intro gives me an excuse to finally work on Seven, anyway...
(Also, if I suddenly kind of stop posting fic for about ten days? That's why.)

c) Hetalia fandom makes me glad I obsessively save all my old class notes (which is more an aspect of my packrat tendencies than anything else, but still). Just stumbled across a whole folder of things on the Revolutionary War, and this will be useful. Oh yes oh yes.

So that's pretty much it for finals. I have a few papers left, all due next week, but they are things I can write in my sleep, not huge gigantic drafts of plays. (Sixty pages for the first act. Professor asked for thirty to forty-five. um. I am an overachiever? Though I think the iambic pentameter inflated the page count.) THEREFORE, I can finally write fanfic again. My god, I feel so backlogged. And I am getting neurotic that I have, like, wasted all my fandom goodwill because I have been so bad about commenting on not-Mith people's journals and responding to my own comments and getting things done that I owe people and blah blah blah paranoia. orz.

Also, did in fact get cast this semester. Did not get cast in Metamorphoses. Got cast in two roles in the annual ten-minute play festival our university sponsors that very much play against my usual type -- except for the fact that I AM A(N EX-)DRUG ADDICT AGAIN in one of them ahahaha -- which is cool, but still. Loved other show so hard. Wanted to do it. D: Am wondering if I should have thrown the In10 callback, but no, I find the idea abhorrent...jeeeeeeealouuuus, though.

Also also, I napped from about three to five and thus feel horribly lazy. But well-rested.

Finally, because I should stop whining and because I want to interact with people s-sorry if I come across as desperate here, I'm just still getting over finals-crazy and am feeling lonely as a result, a meme that I made up!
Give me a character from any fandom of mine (check if you aren't sure), and I will talk -- probably at length -- about what they're like in bed.
Some characters (and those of you who've been following me for a certain amount of time can guess who) will net longer responses than others, of course. You can ask me about as many characters as you'd like; my only caveat is that you wait for me to finish your first request before making a second, just so I can manage things a little better. Other than that, go ahead! This is the kind of analysis I'm not burned out on doing. <3

As is probably apparent from the post yesterday, computer is deAIDSified. All my files are intact, I just need to get my programs back and find out where I put the CD that has the drivers for my sound card, because I miss watching movies on this thing.

Silly Jade.

Am sort of doing mass comment catchup now (which includes all those Object of Desire ficbits I never got around to writing, because I actually am in kind of a porning mood now and I have hours backstage where I will be sitting in the dark and doing NOTHING so therefore!), because I have been a Failpuel at talking to people. *headdesk*

Also ended up watching the first four episodes of Season Two of Stargate SG1. It is TV popcorn: buttery and kind of addictive but not terribly substantial. Still, it's fun, and I'm rather fond of Daniel Jackson, which should not be surprising to anyone. I may watch more later.
(I keep replacing "Gou'ald" with "Yeerk" in my head. Anyone else do that? shut up Animorphs is awesome.)

Oh, and apparently Tour of Duty is up for Best Tragedy at the Genesis Awards, which is pretty cool. Totally did not realize it until the mod contacted me through my account at the Pit -- and had not thought of the fic in months, really -- but still, quite flattering.
...man, I haven't written FFVII in what, a year? Almost.

Speaking of things surprising to people who are reading me:
What has surprised you the most about me (if anything) since joining my flist/"friending me"? Was anything completely unexpected or have I always fit the picture of me you have in your head?
I am very interested to hear the answers to this one, so go ahead and share. (Meme stolen from lots of people.)

YES WE DID.

I started jumping up and down and dancing when Stewart and Colbert called the race for him last night. (And then I called Mith and Mom and Dad, roughly in that order, for that is what I do.) My friends and I flipped to Fox News to watch the anchors' taut acknowledgments of Obama's victory. They were trying to ignore the news for a while and were focusing on the fact that the Democrats didn't get a 60-seat majority in the Senate (which is fine; I didn't want them to, my granola-crunching hippie social liberal tendencies aside) and talking about maintaining the balance of power and seriously, funniest shit ever. Not as funny as Stewart and Colbert, but the delicious schadenfreude was delicious.

And that speech. I mean, classy concession by McCain, and I'd have been a lot more positive about him had he presented that side of himself during the campaign, but that was a masterful speech. I cried. I admit it. I am a sap.

His victory's a little bit bittersweet for me, though, because of the news from Arizona and Florida and Arkansas, and what it looks like California's headed towards. (I will rant about all that later, but I'm not even remotely ready to discuss it rationally, and I think I'd be likely to do something like ban people from my journal who voiced support for the measure. Which I know is not the best response. So.)

Still, though, in spite of that, godDAMN, America. For the first time in I don't know how long, I think you might be headed in the right direction.

There's work ahead. I know that. I know that well. But I don't think you can discount the fact that people believe that change can happen, and that people believe Obama can help enact that change. And if enough people believe, belief can be transformed into reality. We saw that last night. And we can keep this happening. We can take our country back from the forces that have ruined it these past eight years.

Yes we did. Yes we can. And yes we will.

(I think it goes without saying, but DO NOT HARSH MY SQUEE NOW. Seriously. Don't. I will be happy to engage in thoughtful political analysis, but later. Right now, I am celebrating.)

I'm twenty today.

I don't know how I feel about that. To say this birthday isn't going to happen the way I anticipated it is an understatement. A large one.

I'm going to be honest here, perhaps more honest than I am in most public journal posts. There are certain things I do not say, do not intimate, do not express in public; certain masks I wear, and of course I'm not the only one who does that, but I feel it's worth mentioning. My non-fic posts aren't really any more spontaneous or honest than my fic, any less structured or any more representative of who I really am. Which isn't to say that I'm dishonest, or that I intentionally try to be, but even though I feel things very deeply, I shape them. I structure them.

One of the reasons I go on and on about acting and theatre, especially in the context of my writing, is because that's how my brain operates. I'm capable of feeling, I'm capable of empathy (my father used to make me look up the definition of the word in the dictionary in hopes that the meaning would stick, and I guess it did), and I'm certainly capable of having overwhelming emotional responses to things. But at the same time, there's another part of me analyzing, dissecting, interjecting. Creating a stage picture. I do this even at my most despondent.

I can step back and ask myself what it all means. I do that quite frequently. But I can't change what is. What is is that I love someone in a way I've never loved anyone before, and if I could, I'd keep every form of hurt away from her. But I can't. Amor non vincit omnia, not really. And all the analysis, all the structuring, all the presentational tricks can't change what happened. What it means changes, what it isn't doesn't.

I have a half-finished essay on Persona 3, Code Geass, and the dangers of glorifying the past and seeking to undo what has been done, because you can't go back to the way things were, no matter how hard you might wish otherwise. And I think that might be one of the sources of the constant feelings of inadequacy I'm plagued with, because I can list hundreds of thousands of things I would have done differently were I given the chance, but I never will be given the chance, and I'm left with what I'm left with. I do what I can with the time that I'm given, to paraphrase Gandalf.

I don't know if that essay will ever be finished, though.

I'm leaving for New York tomorrow evening, for the funeral, and I might see whether this writing-on-trains thing works for me. I suspect there are things I want to say. There usually are.

It's my birthday. I guess that means whatever I want it to mean.

In exactly a month from today, I will be 20.

My reaction to this is twofold:

1) "...and I'm still younger than almost all of my friends. And not 21. Dammit."

2) "Dude how the FUCK DID I GET THIS OLD I BARELY EVEN FEEL NINETEEN I'M NOT READY AAAGH."

Clearly, I am very eloquent at eight-thirty in the morning.

Birthdays are always slightly surreal for me; don't get me wrong, I look forward to them immensely, but once I've actually become a year older, I don't start to think of myself as being that age until about a few months before my next birthday.

I'm going to have fun celebrating my birthday this year, though. (...I have almost a month to clean my apartment. That is more than enough time, self.)

Thanks for everything on Tuesday, guys. You all are seriously awesome, have I mentioned that?

So this week has been fairly abysmal. I've had chronic pain in my left shoulder for going on two weeks now, and I finally managed to get enough free time to wrangle a checkup. Turns out I did pull something, and I have muscle spasms now. Joy. So I'm on muscle relaxants and anti-inflammatory meds and am still kind of in pain, but it's less pain. Then there was Tuesday, and me having a hard time adjusting to how my professor expects me to construct scripts in Playwriting (her method's valid, definitely, and worthwhile, but it's a very different method of analysis than the one I'm used to and comfortable with), and scheduling headaches, and too many classroom hours and not nearly enough studio/performance ones. All of the above is completely sapping my write, which I feel horribly guilty about; I look at memento mori and think "weekly update my ass." I just feel like I'm letting other people down, and that I'm letting myself down. sigh.

Anyway, I really hate feeling like this and would like to talk about happy things. So! Tell me about something that makes you happy. It can be fannish, it can be RL-related, it can be whatever. I think L did this a while ago? I usually steal these kinds of things from someone else.

I'll start: I have an adorable character in a Spirit of the Century RPG (narrative-driven pulp game, essentially) who is a Russian lion tamer and circus acrobat. With an utterly ridiculous accent. That I get to do out loud. And did I mention that her first published adventure involves her punching really big Communist snakes? Because it does. (This is why I love pulp games -- they are good for the silly.)

Also, the possibility of cosplaying Count D in the future makes me really happy.

Your turns!

So I've had to slow down on the ficwriting front, because school is kicking my ass. I didn't realize quite how many writing-intensive classes I signed up for this semester -- I don't have as many term papers, true, but in place of that I have weekly writing assignments up the wazoo, and those are eating into my time like crazy.

None of this, of course, helps my recent trend towards being spotty about reading and commenting on what other people are doing. Or replying to people who comment on my own damn journal. *facepalm* I fail. I fail so hard. I will manage to balance everything out. Soon, I think.

I haven't had a whole lot of time for Fun Pursuits, but there are a few incontrovertibly awesome things I've run across lately, and a number of them are things I think you guys might enjoy, too.

I. The Stratford Man duology by Elizabeth Bear -- Ink and Steel and Hell and Earth

( Shakespeare and softcore and Sidhe, oh my! )

II. Sickficfest, which was apparently created as a reaction to various members of fanficrants discussing the woobification of characters who are anything but in fanfic. The premise, then, is to celebrate the kind of gloriously twisted characters we so often find ourselves attached to, and to write fic that acknowledges (and let's face it, enjoys) the fact. Prompting goes on until the 31st of September, the claiming period lasts from October 1-31, and the actual fics aren't due until February 2009, which should hopefully be after people have recovered a little from challenge burnout. <3 There are a lot of great prompts there already, but lord knows I wouldn't mind seeing more.

III. kinkfest is taking prompts for its November round! The sheer range of fandoms represented is awesome, and though I'm not sure whether I'll be playing (unless people leave prompts that sort of mercilessly mash my buttons or blatantly bait me or something, in which case no promises), I'm definitely leaving prompts there as soon as I amass enough of a list.

Other things that I will talk about later: finally finishing Persona 3, TTGL (which is the perfect study-break series and which is just the right kind of shonen retard awesome but which I don't think I'll be ficcing because in a series where they use galaxies as shurikens, I really have nothing to add), Code Geass (shut up, fandom, Suzaku's awesome), Vagrant Story (SYDNEY SYDNEY OH SWEET GOD SYDNEEEEEEEEEEY).

And now to be a good student and memorize Latin vocabulary.
Help meeeeeeee

So hphaeton asked me about seven eljay interests of mine.

( advent children, digital devil saga, hail xenu, square enix, tamora pierce, unitarian universalism, wrongsexual )

And a_white_rain asked about seven tags of mine.

( context-less theatre, i have no sense, itchy, livelongnmarry, look at me, so wrong but so right, woob woob woob )

(I will tag anyone for either of the above memes if they're interested.)

I move most of my stuff into my apartment tomorrow, though I don't move in per se until Tuesday. (Have to work next week. ew.)

...I am more excited about seeing Mith than I am about school resuming. I guess I am used to the whole rigmarole by now. Though I am looking forward to my classes. And my motherfuckin' apartment.

I had something else to say, but packing fatigue is kicking in. zzzsnork.

i. I didn't have work today, so I got an extra hour or so of sleep in. Always good.
ii. Despite university being obnoxious about actually granting me a friggin' meal plan for next semester, they continue to throw money my way, which I appreciate. (At least I have a grocery stipend to fall back on?)
iii. Rent for next semester is paid in full, and I still have a pretty good amount of money left over, especially since...
iv. Inexpensive booklist is inexpensive. I doubt I'll have to spend over $100 on books this semester, and if I go bargainhunting, I might be able to get everything for $60 or thereabouts.
v. Since I have money left over, purchasing bus tickets to head up to NYC on Labor Day Weekend was no trouble at all. Which leads me to...
vi. mithrigil in general, although note to self: do not have conversations about ways to molest innocent sixteen-year-old boys in earshot of the family, for it leads to awkward. (Also, SPIRIT FINGERS~)
vii. Having a surprisingly good time running around places with mother. I'm glad for the renewed closeness, I really am -- I'm used to her being a presence in my life, and for the first two years of college we sort of grew distant, and that hurt.
viii. I HAS AN APARTMENT. It is my first apartment, and I am very proud. And I have a room considerably bigger than my bedroom at mother's and a closet with mirrored doors and a full-sized bed and a lovely view and nice roommates. Cannot wait to move in for good.
ix. Dinner with mother and sisters at a quirky little restaurant downtown. Delicious Vietnamese salad was delicious.
x. Relatively painless shopping for necessary back-to-school amenities.
xi. Looking at er, certain cosplay photographs of myself and not hating the way I look. For once.
xii. At the rate I've been writing, my plan to post a new chapter of memento mori every week or thereabouts looks entirely feasible. This will also give me time to work on other things, like Bandiverse. And the next story for that universe excites me. A lot.
xiii. Watching Doctor Who with my family (I managed to addict my mother, sisters, and most of my cousins to the show, which I count as GEEK TRIUMPH) and dorking out.
xiv. Feeling excited about my life and where I'm headed, and feeling secure in the knowledge that I have people rooting for me and helping me out along the way. :D

I figure I've done enough woe is me posts over the past couple of months, so it's good to remind myself that life doesn't always suck. Sometimes it's damned good.

As I briefly mentioned in the last post, I'm going out to the middle of rural Pennsylvania with my father and sisters from now until the seventh, and don't expect to have internet access for most, if not all, of the trip. I should be able to get in a good amount of writing time, though, so hopefully I will have things to post when I get back. And I think I'll finish rewatching Code Geass, too. And I'll swim and hike and do Outdoorsy Nature Girl things. So it will not be as bad as I'm making it out to be in my head.

...also, when I get back, Mith will be there. And that will be wonderful.

no_true_pair: Progressing. Think there will be two or three things for it this week, then a break for week three, then a flood of fic during week four. Ladd/Lua progresses and keeps itself to reasonable lengths, I hope. Heat/Jenna/Sera is wrong wrong wrong but then again, it's Heat/Jenna/Sera.

porn_battle: Accepting prompts for round four! There are at least eight that I think I absolutely must write (and at least half of those eight are Mith's, but that's not entirely surprising). So go! Leave things! Check it out! Tell me if you want me to bait you!

memento mori (X/YnM crossover of doooom): Is going to be the longest fic I've written since my Harry Potter days. Hooo boy. I'm excited, though. It is twisted and filled with sharp broken edges and wrong and I'm having a blast writing it.

The Showcase: Also progresses. Still hate myself a little for High School Musical. Might have to take pictures of myself in TB!Subaru cosplay exorcising the score. (But the evil will be too much for poor innocent onmyouji, and Seishirou might have to intervene, which raises the question of how Sakurazukamori kill musicals.) Also, watching me try to do hip-hop is hilarious.

Starbucks: Might hire me. *knock on wood*

Pittsburgh: Is less humid than Baltimore, which is good. And the heat wave appears to have broken, which is also good. There are many many bridges, and tons of wonderful stores, or at least there are near Mith's apartment.

Mith: Is love and light and wonder and everything good in the world~~~

Life: is FUCKING AWESOME right now.

A few things:

i) Am feeling infinitely better about myself and my capabilities, because I HAS AN APARTMENT. <3 It's affiliated with my university, so the room and board part of my scholarship pays for pretty much all of the rent, but the apartment complex I'm moving into isn't quite part of Residential Life -- it's more independent, which is cool. I signed the lease yesterday. (My first lease. Yay.) So I'm feeling all mature and independent now. It's a good feeling.

2) This article about a popular erotica author who's being told that she can't advertise her latest anthology in certain places because it consists of f/f stories. I'm currently working on a manifesto/paper/thing for theatre history about how theatre (and film and television) traditionally ignores and suppresses women's voices and women's stories, so Zane's letter really makes me think. It seems like there's a general consensus among publishers that f/f stories don't sell, which obviously irks me. And it's an attitude I see a lot in the fanfic community, too -- that stories about two women are inherently less interesting than stories about a man and a woman, or stories about two men. I mean, everyone on my friendslist knows that that's bullshit (or so I assume), but a lot of people don't, and it makes me want to do something. I don't know what, but I need to talk about it, deconstruct it, work to change it somehow, because this kind of paradigm just ain't right.

So. What do you guys think? (I don't necessarily think that there's a conscious conspiracy to suppress stories about women, but -- well, there's a damn prevalent unconscious bias that women's stories somehow lack universality, and that stories in the so-called "male" sphere of influence intrinsically have more worth. And that bothers me.)

three) I FLY TO CHICAGO TOMORROW, YAY! And then I will meet Rina and Mith and Boots and it will be so fucking awesome and I'm a-quiver with anticipation.

I hate the end-of-the-semester crunch, I really do.

I mean, I think I can get through it somehow, but I'm running on virtually zero sleep and I just want to rest so much. I stayed up all night studying for an exam and working on the take-home portion of it only to find out that the professor decided to have the take-home portion count for 100 percent of our grade instead of 50 percent of it, so I studied for nothing. And I'm hungry and I'm tired and the university is nagging me about payment on something I know I already paid and I have no idea what I'm going to do about het_challenge, but I'm doubting that what comes out of that's going to be any good, and I'm beating myself up because I should have been able to avert this, argh. I should have managed my time better. And I always say I'm going to be more effective with time management, but I never learn my lesson because I always manage to get things done and do a decent job on them, and because I know I can get through these periods, I don't have enough motivation to change the way I do things. I just sacrifice some of my sanity in the process.

Sigh.

Overworked Puel is overworked. And sleepy. And whiny, apparently.

I know I'm going to get through this, though, and I think that once I eat I will be a little calmer and a little less depressed. I just need a fuckton of caffeine.

I wish it was ACen now.

And utilizing the nifty post-by-email feature for the first time.

Today is the last day of my internship -- on Monday, I head back to school. Yes, I had a really long break. It's been a good experience, if a little depressing at times. (Researching child neglect cases in county institutions = not so fun.)

But I got to give a pair of extremely attractive cops a tour of the building today. So that was good. (Puel's Shall-O-Meter: high!)

I'm debating whether or not I should people for Valentine's Day prompts, since this is the second Valentine's Day I've actually looked forward to ever. I kind of want to, but I'm so frakking behind on *Christmas* gifts that it's not even funny. Mmmaybe I'll wait until February officially starts and see where I am then.

Lately, though, there's something about my writing that isn't making me happy. I can't identify exactly what it is, which is frustrating, but it's something. The unhappiness with my work is hindering me more with original projects, I think, but it's starting to seep into my fannish stuff, too. I'm kind of getting the feeling that I'm not really taking as many risks as I could with my work, and as a result everything's becoming a bit predictable and, well, less exciting. It's entirely possible that I'm being paranoid, but I am a fickle creature and such thoughts throw me off my game.

Or maybe it's a different problem. Maybe I'm looking at all the projects I want to do and I'm daunted by the sheer size of the list, and I get so caught up in thinking that I'll never get any of it done that I'm setting up huge mental blocks for myself. I'm not exactly sure how to fix that one, since for once the list is composed of mostly non-challenge things. I'll have to Think Thinky Thoughts once I get off work, I suppose.

The power cord on my laptop just snapped in two.

I have like half an hour of battery power left. Maybe.

I'll try to steal my family's computers when they're asleep (I sound like a burglar now), but as there is a severe computer shortage in my house, I -- don't know.

I have no money. Literally none. I have no idea how I'm going to afford a replacement part.

I don't know when I'll be online next. Hopefully by at least Friday.

I am trying very hard not to have a panic attack. I reeeeeeeally do not like it when I get panic attacks.

D:

EDIT: Sneaking on from mother's computer, as she's asleep. It looks like I'm going to get a replacement either tomorrow or Thursday, so all is not lost. I'll be in debt to my parents, but that isn't exactly an uncommon thing among people of my age group.

Now let's see how much of that Eternity::Wayward Dawn introduction I can get out. Zack, don't fail me now!

oneporn_battle prompt submission ends tonight! For those of you who don't know, porn_battle is "a win-win thing in which anyone who wants to comes up with porn prompts and anyone who wants to writes comment length (roughly 4300 characters) porn fic based on those prompts." (c+p'ed from community info.)

It's fun, anyone can participate, there's no formal claims system -- if you see something you like, write it! -- and you can even claim your own prompts if you want to. So go ahead! I'd love to see more prompts for fandoms I'm familiar with.

I'm also completely willing to pander to people, if there's something you'd really like to see on the list that hasn't been posted yet. And people are always free to engage in Puel-baiting.

two I started my January internship on Monday -- I'm interning for the Criminal Justice Coordinator and doing any number of odd jobs around the office. I'm having a good time with it so far, and I'm learning a lot. Plus, my co-workers are really nice.

three I don't know how well I'm going to be able to keep to this schedule, but I'm planning on posting a new Christmas ficgift either every day or every other day, starting tonight (please tonight please tonight). Once that's done, I should still have enough time left in the month to get the first chapters of longer-term projects up. And enough time to work on my original projects, too.

edit: four Something I never noticed in Persona 3 - Cylon tea. "Comes in 12 varieties." Someone on the localization team watches BSG. Awesome.