tempus fugit

My dog Jake just died.

According to Mother, he got into a bag of raisins last night and got sick, so she took him to the vet first thing in the morning -- his kidneys were giving out on him, and the vet said the kidney failure must have been going on for a while. He slipped into a coma on the way to the ER (or whatever the animal equivalent is, I think it's still an ER), and then he died. Mom said he went peacefully, though, so at least he didn't have to suffer.

I teased him about being horribly neurotic, and he was, and about smelling horrible, which he did, but he really was such a sweet dog. He just wanted people who'd love him -- we adopted him from the SPCA, and they found him wandering around West Virginia; he'd clearly been abused, and even after living with us for almost two years, he was still pretty skittish, especially around men. He had tiny little legs because he was a yellow lab/beagle mix, so he he looked kind of like a puppy even though he was five or six.

This post isn't terribly coherent. I'm sorry. I should've spent more time with him. I didn't realize I wouldn't have very long.

Title: There Are No Ghosts Here
Author: puella_nerdii
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Characters/Pairing: America/England (or America-->England, technically), Canada, guest appearances by Samuel Adams and General Arthur St. Clair
Rating: R, for what growing nations dream about
Words: ~4370
Timestamp: December 17, 1773, in Boston; July 5-8, 1777, in New York
Summary: I don't want him to forgive me. I never wanted that. The shape of what America wants, before the revolution and after it, and whether or not it changes.

( Look at you, America, you've grown so since we first met. )

So it looks like I'm writing that England, Will, and Kit thing, then. *grins* Not that doing so is any kind of hardship, mind.

Am currently watching Superbowl, along with lord knows how many others --

HOLY FUCK CARDINALS WHAT THE HELL AND HOLY FUCK STEELERS

Tournament is over, mostly -- full retrospective coming later. Made it to the semifinals, which I'm happy about, since this was the first tournament I actually sponsored in. I wrote somewhere around 35k for the thing, and I'm proud of most of it. Even if Suzaku did some really boneheaded things, but then again, Suzaku's lapses in judgment are, well, canon.

Also, I feel like doing a meme -- even if I'm still working my way up to writing things that other people request; I'm not there yet, but I might be eventually -- so I'm stealing this one from etrangere:
Ask me anything: all types of fannish opinions, good, bad, and ugly. Anything in the tags list or any fandoms you're certain I've mentioned in the past are good, as are thoughts on general themes and trends in fandom/fiction.
Be as general (why do you like crossovers so much?) or as specific (how would the American Civil War work in Hetalia terms?) as you want, as serious (if CLAMP ever resumes X, who's making it out alive?) or as silly (who'd win in a pilotfight between Suzaku and Kara Thrace?) as you want, as metalicious (what do you think about the nature of the creator/creation relationship in Digital Devil Saga?) or as not (on a scale of one to "OHGODWHY," what are your feelings on Ladd Russo obtaining immortality?) as you want.

So go ahead, ask away. I want to talk to people.

Petition to Studio Deen and Genosha

The nationalistic groups in Korea whose protests against Hetalia seemed to lead to the show getting yanked off the air in the first place are now seeking to halt Hetalia's mobile and online distribution, and certain elements within that group advocate attacking Japanese websites to further that goal. This petition is meant to encourage Studio Deen and Genosha to continue Hetalia's distribution, and not to accede to the wishes of a small group willing to employ illegal tactics to gain what they want. Regardless of your position on Hetalia (and there are valid reasons to be offended by it, and I know about Korea's history with Japan even if I'll never personally understand the full ramifications of it), I think it's important that companies not buckle before threats of cyber-terrorism, and that any threats of that sort are unwelcome and unwarranted in civil discourse.

Okay. Serious business out of the way.

( That 15 OTPs meme that's been going around )

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TELL YOU....

I knew I should've done this like two hours ago. Late Puel is laaaate.

Also, Neil Gaiman won the Newberry Medal and episode one of Hetalia is friggin' adorable. Classes are good, I think I'm going to get to take everything I want to, Suzaku is going DELIGHTFULLY CRAZY, and I am generally in a good mood right now.

So it is not tomorrow, and there is not inauguration post.

Ehe. Sorry. Am still waiting for the pictures to be developed, but the main points:
a) It was cold.
b) It was awesome.

Am moving back to apartment tomorrow. For a variety of reasons, I really don't feel ready for this semester at all -- the Financial Aid screwup last semester threw me off-track, and apparently I'm registered as a part-time student now, which I've since corrected but I need to fill out more paperwork and I'm not sure if I'm going to bother to sign up for a meal plan this semester, even. Also still don't know what I'm doing about certain classes; I really want to go for the Anthropology minor and I think I need to take Methods of Anthropological Research for that, but I'd be course overloading during a semester where I'm a) cast and b) looking for a job.

And I need that job. If I don't get a job this semester, I can't go to ACen. My refund check's coming back late as it is, so Katsucon's going to get interesting. I might have to dip into my savings, though I hope that doesn't become the case. Also I've barely glanced at my Latin this semester, and Hetalia and tournament hijacked me away from working on Ardent so I need to resume that again posthaste, and I'm trailing so far behind on obligations that it isn't even funny.

(I think I'm taking a break from request-based fic and ficlets, though. I just don't write well to people's specifications anymore, and I get unreasonably upset and stressed and unhappy when I try to. Need to stop treating fandom like a job, really, because it isn't, and scheduling myself to do things doesn't work and makes me feel terrible when I can't reach the goals I set for myself.)

I'm hoping to have fic up by tonight or tomorrow, though, and I think that will improve my mood a lot. Ultimately, so will being back in school, because I do very poorly with unstructured free time. I work best and get the most done when I'm doing too much at once. It may not be the most healthy way to go about things, but I'm used to it by now. (I might try to do that 15 pairings meme floating around, if I can think of fifteen pairings. I fail so hard at forming OTPs, seriously.)

In less whingy news, Suzaku is never allowed to drink Stargaritas again. Long story.

Also in less whingy news:

all_he_ever

A joint project between Linden, Mith, and myself. (pinstripesuit is our Minister of Propaganda.) In 1923, the Anglo-Japanese alliance was not dissolved. In 1956, a member of the Communist-Progressive Party won the American Presidential Election. These are the stories and artistic developments that created such a world.

...so how have you all been? Is our new President completely awesome or what?

So I am in my mother's journalist friend's apartment in Bethesda with a whole bunch of lovely Obamaladies, sleeping on his floor and stealing his wireless.

I wake up at four tomorrow to train down to DC and watch our forty-fourth president take his oath of office. I have a silver ticket, too, which is awesome. (Mother managed to get a purple, the lucky.)

There will be full post about inauguration tomorrow, but for right now let me just say this:

eeeeeeeeee

This is the first half (or two-thirds) of my Written in the Stars intro for Suzaku, and this is the part that stands absolutely fine on its own.

Also, I've wanted to write this fic forever, or a version of it. Well, I've wanted to write it since R2 started, at any rate.

/Suzaku fan since episode one, yo.

Title: Seven
Author: puella_nerdii
Fandom: Code Geass
Characters: Suzaku; Emperor Charles, Anya, Gino
Rating: PG-13 (brawling, Britannian racism, some language; also, spoilers through R2 episode 2)
Words: ~4500
Summary: He isn’t sure what he expected, but it wasn’t this. But he never gets what he expects, does he?

( Lelouch—Zero—says nothing. That’s fine. Suzaku has nothing to say to him. )

So I got a 4.0 for fall semester. *grins* Am gratified. Was a little bit worried about my Playwriting grade, as I was not always extraordinarily punctual with everything, but it worked out, so yay.

Weekend was absolutely goddamn wonderful -- Mith was in the area visiting acielskadi and her boyfriend, both of whom are absolutely wonderful, so I got together with them on Saturday night. I have bruises. They are happy bruises.

In writing news:
a) So the finish-memento mori-by-the-end-of-January may or may not be feasible. *sigh* Several factors, really -- I want to prove to myself that yes, I can write something novella-length, but for reasons that I don't really want to get into in a public entry, writing Subaruzukamori hits home in ways I never expected it would. It's incredibly personal, incredibly vulnerable in a lot of ways, and getting into his headspace is almost a paralyzing experience. Hisoka's better because he at least gets angry, but it's still, well, kind of grueling. And I'm getting close to the point where I introduce the character responsible for all the unpleasantness, a character who I had to stop writing for a long time because of overidentification issues and other rather unhealthy behaviors associated therein.
I like the story. I'm still proud of the story. It's just brutal to write on a level that even the Hetalia stuff hasn't been.
Of course, now that I have posted this, watch me crank out the next chapter in a few days or something. Because my writerbrain, it is a contrary little thing.

b) Eternity: Written in the Stars. Guess who's going to be writing Suzaku Kururugi for about ten days straight?
I'm looking forward to it. Haven't written nearly enough of him, and I know that participating in Eternity will mean that I'm going to hit my goal of 1000 words a day and probably surpass it, given that I wrote 22000 words or so last time, and I was just learning the tournament ropes. I'm excited for this one, and I might even get some fun Geass ficlike things out of it. The intro gives me an excuse to finally work on Seven, anyway...
(Also, if I suddenly kind of stop posting fic for about ten days? That's why.)

c) Hetalia fandom makes me glad I obsessively save all my old class notes (which is more an aspect of my packrat tendencies than anything else, but still). Just stumbled across a whole folder of things on the Revolutionary War, and this will be useful. Oh yes oh yes.

So I got hijacked with the mental image of Lithuania going to confession.

And then I wrote this.

I blame my Catholic upbringing.

A lot.

Title: Apostle's Creed
Author: puella_nerdii
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Characters: Lithuania, mentions of Russia
Rating: PG-13, for offscreen Russia and life under the Iron Curtain
Words: ~3100
Timestamp: September 5, 1951 -- the beginning of the end for the armed Lithuanian resistance to Soviet rule.
Summary: God still speaks, Lietuva. Churches were once places of sanctuary, and Lithuania seeks shelter in a confessional as he flees the NKVD.

( I haven't spoken to America or England or France since the war. )

I have been waiting to write this fic for forever. FOREVER, I tell you.

...okay, more like a month. Still.

(why yes I did read Ender's Game and why yes it was formative, why do you ask?)

Title: The Enemy's Gate is Down
Author: puella_nerdii (with mithrigilian assist)
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Characters: America, Russia, England
Rating: PG-13, for language, thematic implications, and Russia having no concept of personal space.
Words: ~3800
Timestamp: July 27, 1945, during the Potsdam Conference.
Summary: "You're going to change everything, America." "Yeah, but isn't that what I always do?"

( The only one grasping here is you. )

Actual reflective stuff about non-fic stuff will come later. I've been working on this masterlist thing for a while. I say "for a while" because I wrote 38 full-length fanfics this year, 46 if you include ficlets, and -- a lot more if you count all the commentfic. (This also discounts original work, school stuff, cowritten works, and fic I never ended up posting.) Total fannish wordcount? 146,760. (That puts my average fic wordcount at about 3190.) 22,000 of those words are Wayward Dawn, but still. I'm rather proud of myself.

( Fics, from January through December )

( The meme part! )

Well, that's 2008. Bring on the new year!
...also, time to write 1000 words like I said I would. Hold on, I think I hear Potsdam calling...

The first of a few full-length(ish) holiday fics, for those especially dear to me. After that, Yulestravaganza stuff (and the rest of the Object of Desire ficbits AHAHA REMEMBER THOSE), and then Yuletide reposting, and then new stuff. Woo!

Will also do a Year in Review post later, I think.

Brief context for this:
a) mithrigil is awesome.
b) Everything is lucent_world's fault.
c) Heat from Digital Devil Saga and Subaru Sumeragi from Tokyo Babylon and X/1999 are crossover OTP.
d) Wayward Dawn is why. That and various other fics. Including the sequel to this one.
e) I expect mmmmmaybe two people to read this, but it's a present, dammit.

Therefore.
Chinese Takeout. Digital Devil Saga/X; Heat O'Brian/Subaru. PG-13 (for language more than anything); ~3000 words. Spoilers for DDS2 and, indirectly, for X.
First, do no harm...

( You don't name your cadavers, do you? )

I love you, honey. May the next year be happier, for both of us. *kiss*

So Christmas this year was, for the most part, pretty damn good. I still have to get gifts from my father's side of the family, but so far I have Battlestar Galactica 2.0 and 2.5 on DVD (finally), Lost in a Good Book and The Well of Lost Plots from the Thursday Next series (which I need to make a proper rec post about, because it is gleefully unpretentious metafiction), my very own Scrabble set, assorted clothes-type things, and money. And Mother paid for my Katsucon badge, too, which is awesome. Chicago is also good. Cold as fuck, but good.

I have a pretty good fannish haul, too.
From Yuletide, I lucked out and got THREE stories, all of which are wonderful:

My primary story: The Waters are Rising, (A Study in Emerald by Neil Gaiman, Holmes and Watson, G). A Study and Emerald is the kind of ungodly fusion of Sherlock Holmes and Lovecraft that only Neil Gaiman could conceive of and execute, and I always wanted to know more about how Holmes and Watson got started in this universe. This fic delivers. I'm especially fond of how deliberate and methodical Holmes's voice is here; it's very true to him.

And the treats, both for the same prompt: Jedem gibt er das Seine (Elisabeth, Death and Rudolf, R), which is a gorgeous piece about Rudolf's isolation and dependence on Death, how Death drives him towards the Mayerling Incident, and the aftermath of that. I don't want to give away the end, but suffice to say that it's fabulous. The fic is taut and gripping and intense, and this writer has a wonderfully sharp and manipulative take on Death.

Circulation (Elisabeth, Death/Rudolf, R), which deals with how Rudolf's sexual obsession with Death manifests. When he's fourteen. And imagining what Death's touch feels like. And there is detached sensation and dissociation and CHOKING FETISH and basically this story is all of my kinks wrapped up with a big red bow on top. A big red bow of OH MY GOD THE LAST LINE IS AWESOME.

(I'll do a proper Yuletide rec post later, when I've read more fic, but there are several absolutely brilliant things up already. I will be interested to see if people can guess which fic is mine. In some ways, it's rather obvious if you know me and my driving obsessions.)

Also, I got this fantastic Russia/China art for The Wind, the Sun and the Eagle, and I cannot emphasize enough how absofuckinglutely gorgeous this is and how the colors are perfect and the body language is even more perfect and how I am utterly transfixed by Russia's HANDS oh lord. I love Hetalia fandom so friggin' much.

I should have a fic ready to post by tonight -- a Christmas present for someone who's made this year immeasurably better, and means more to me than I can possibly say. *grin* After that, I have a few more present-type things to take care of, and I will probably get back to posting proper fic when the new year starts and people come back from vacation.

Yeah, so, um. This is not Wednesday. In my defense, I had finals?

...and this ended up getting longer than I thought it would?

...a lot longer?

Hopefully it doesn't suck. I don't know. In some ways I think this is kind of my love letter to intertextuality. Though in less SRS BIZNESS, it also features America getting stoned with Delirium during Woodstock. So.

Title: Sub Specie Aeternitatis, part two
Author: puella_nerdii, though credit/blame is, as always, due to mithrigil.
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia, crossed with the Sandman (though knowledge of either canon should suffice. Or neither canon; anthropomorphic personifications have a way of making themselves understood.)
Characters: America and, in this half, Despair and Delirium, with guest appearances by Lithuania and England and mentions of Death.
Rating: PG-13 for language, a few macabre images, and drug use. (Did I mention that one of the sections takes place during Woodstock?)
Words: 4480 without footnotes.
Summary: Even countries are bound by the forces that embody this world.

( Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses. Well, he's got them now. )

...and now for Yuletide!
Which I totally have not been neglecting!
Really!
ahahaha I'm fucked, aren't I.

It is kind of my goal in life to cross over everything ever with the Sandman. Therefore, this.

Let me not to the marriage of true anthropomorphic personifications admit impediment, after all.

Title: Sub Specie Aeternitatis, part one
Author: puella_nerdii, though credit/blame is, as always, due to mithrigil.
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia, crossed with the Sandman (though knowledge of either canon should suffice. Or neither canon; anthropomorphic personifications have a way of making themselves understood.)
Characters: America and, in this half, Destiny, Dream, Desire, and Destruction.
Rating: R, for sexuality and intimations of violence, and you can guess whose faults those are.
Words: 4100 without footnotes.
Summary: Even countries are bound by the forces that embody this world.

( It is not in your nature to know where you are going. )

Part Two will be posted either tomorrow or Wednesday, depending on how I want to space things out.

So that's pretty much it for finals. I have a few papers left, all due next week, but they are things I can write in my sleep, not huge gigantic drafts of plays. (Sixty pages for the first act. Professor asked for thirty to forty-five. um. I am an overachiever? Though I think the iambic pentameter inflated the page count.) THEREFORE, I can finally write fanfic again. My god, I feel so backlogged. And I am getting neurotic that I have, like, wasted all my fandom goodwill because I have been so bad about commenting on not-Mith people's journals and responding to my own comments and getting things done that I owe people and blah blah blah paranoia. orz.

Also, did in fact get cast this semester. Did not get cast in Metamorphoses. Got cast in two roles in the annual ten-minute play festival our university sponsors that very much play against my usual type -- except for the fact that I AM A(N EX-)DRUG ADDICT AGAIN in one of them ahahaha -- which is cool, but still. Loved other show so hard. Wanted to do it. D: Am wondering if I should have thrown the In10 callback, but no, I find the idea abhorrent...jeeeeeeealouuuus, though.

Also also, I napped from about three to five and thus feel horribly lazy. But well-rested.

Finally, because I should stop whining and because I want to interact with people s-sorry if I come across as desperate here, I'm just still getting over finals-crazy and am feeling lonely as a result, a meme that I made up!
Give me a character from any fandom of mine (check if you aren't sure), and I will talk -- probably at length -- about what they're like in bed.
Some characters (and those of you who've been following me for a certain amount of time can guess who) will net longer responses than others, of course. You can ask me about as many characters as you'd like; my only caveat is that you wait for me to finish your first request before making a second, just so I can manage things a little better. Other than that, go ahead! This is the kind of analysis I'm not burned out on doing. <3

Last day of the meme.

i) Classes are officially over. (Finally.) I do feel bad because I ended up oversleeping today and missing senior projects for theatre, but. In hindsight, I probably needed the sleep.
Though I might not get any tonight, I have to finish Act I and make sure I don't hate it...

ii) Loan finally approved, so though I still feel rage towards Financial Aid for screwing up my allocation this semester, I can at least register for classes. Finally.

iii) Got to spend time with friends yesterday -- we watched Dexter and had drinks to celebrate two of my friends turning 21. Was fantastic.

iv) Am fairly certain that I will be cast next semester *knock on wood*; the question is which production I'll be cast in. (I hope it's Metamorphoses. I really do. /neeeeeeeeeeerd, I know. But.)

v) After tomorrow, I can spend the vast majority of my weekend in a fic-writing frenzy. Yay.

vi) Found perfect set of olive drab BDUs for England. Now I just need to think of something witty to put on the dog tags, though I think I'll hold off on ordering them until after Christmas. Because I will have money after Christmas.
It's funny because Mith and I really are cosplaying the wrong characters. *snerk* But I'm shorter and pale and green-eyed and she's tall and tan and blue-eyed, therefore. At least I can do the accent pretty well...

vii) Will get to see Mith after finals are over. <3 And that makes me happy.

Also, I'm still taking requests for the Yulestravaganza thing -- please don't hesitate to ask!

i) Got called back for Metamorphoses! I really hope I get cast in that one; I love Mary Zimmerman, and I love her adaptation, and I am fairly confident that I can handle the language, and oh god it's so gorgeous...

ii) This meme. omgyouguyz. Am blushing. (Look around in the comments for people you know. Is a very worthwhile endeavor. Seriously there are tons of people on my flist in there somewhere, and they all need lots of love.)

iii) Giving Yule gifts to people in a way that means I can actually follow through on them. hint hint ask me for stuff. I like giving people things.

(In less happy news, am running on like two point five hours of sleep, but -- well, finals season. Is to be expected.)

So. Um. Christmas this year!

...I have no idea what I'm giving people for Christmas this year. Actually, let me amend that, there are a few people I know I'm doing things for, and then there's Yuletide, but given how badly I failed at doing Christmasy things last year, I don't want to promise people things that I don't think I can deliver.

Here's how I'm going to work it this year, I think: comment with a fandom I am reasonably active in (the definition of "active" is negotiable, but check my profile if you're not entirely sure), your choice of characters, and a Yuletide-themed prompt, and you will receive something from me. Note that this "something" might not be fic -- it might be an icon (or a set of them), a wallpaper, a song I find appropriate, a recipe, a voice post of me doing a Melodramatic Reading of how I think the scenario in question would go...but basically, you'll get something appropriate to the prompt you suggested. (Well, it might be hilariously inappropriate, too, as this is me we're talking about.)

I don't know, I miss doing things for people, and I've failed so badly when I've tried to do that lately. This, though -- well, I like the flexibility this format gives me, and it lets me be creative, and it lets everyone have a lot of fun. So feel free to ask away -- chances are that if you're reading this, you're someone who's made the Internet a happier place for me.

Love you guys. <3

(ps, speaking of making people happy: *cough*. And check around the meme and see if you can leave a note for anyone else you know. It's a lovely thing to see, I think.)